How my life has changed...

My life has changed so much in this last year. I just can't believe it. I've been blessed with the births of two wonderful daughters in the span of just one year.. In all my sadness and grief last year at this same time, I didn't want to think of ever having children again. Now I have Stella and she has made all the difference. I had forgotten the blessings a LIVING newborn can bring. I forgot how much they rely on their mommy for everything. I didn't know what a privilege it is to just hear my baby cry or see their eyes before I lost Sylvia. I felt the ultimate joy in being graced with both of these privileges with Stella. I've never known what it is like to be the mom to a living daughter! I've really been enjoying dressing Stella in pink, buying her girlie trinkets and just lovin' on the sweet little girl! I have to say that I did fully realize what Will lost when Sylvia died--a living sibling relationship. I felt sooooooo bad for that. I remember crying for hours just for that fact alone--not knowing if I'd ever be able to give him a living sibling--wanting to try to for Will, but not wanting to try to spare myself from another loss. Then we got our surprise pregnancy and didn't have to make a decision:) I am totally in awe when I see Will and Stella interact. They have a strong bond already. He would do anything for her. She is mesmerized by him.
Anyhow, things are going well here. My mom is staying for another couple days due to circumstance. A family situation arose that is delaying dad from getting here. Mom has been such a help! We've done some MAJOR spring cleaning! My storage room is all organized and I've gotten rid of LOTS of stuff! Andy and I are in the process of ordering some new bedroom furniture also. He and I will downsize our wardrobes by getting rid of all the old junk!
As for me, I'm just taking it all in. I'm living in each moment for they go way too quickly! I do miss Sylvia and grief has definitely revisited since Stella has come into our lives. For in being blessed with being able to see Stella's precious moments/milestones, I can't help but be reminded each day of what I've been missing with Sylvi. I do know that it is part of God's plan for us to have Stella here and for Him to have Sylvi. God is far too vast to understand so I've given up trying to analyze God and his decisions. I hope all is well with all of you.
With fondest regards,
Beth