35 Weeks

Today's 35 week appointment went well again. Thank you, God! I had a non-stress test today. Baby was reactive. His/her heartrate was about 135 today. I'm so ready to meet this little one, but I'm very scared at the same time. Today I talked to my doctor about some of my fears. I've been stress eating. Craving the sweets--reminds me of my pregnancy with Sylvia. This child will have me guessing what they are until I'm told when they come out! I was craving spicy food for most of the pregnancy as I did with Will. Now it's the sweets as with Sylvi. He wasn't concerned about my fasting blood sugars being a little high. Apparently stress brings them up a little and I do feel a little stressed lately. I've read so many blogs and actually met some angel moms that have had stillbirths at 36-41 weeks. I fear that happening. My doctor did tell me he delivered a stillborn baby recently at39 weeks. The cord was wrapped around baby's neck 5 times. Not sure I needed to hear that or not, but he told me that for every sad ending there are thousands of happy endings. I can only hope and pray for a happy ending this time. I just can't NOT worry. He told me that it isn't expected that I not worry. Anyone who has been through what I've been through has defintely earned their right to worry. I believe his words were, "It would be a futile cause to tell you not to worry." That is true.
As I was walking out of the clinic, I wondered if the mom that that had the stillborn baby received a Song of Sylvia packet or was informed of the SHARE group. Maybe I'll get the honor of meeting her at February's meeting. Oh, today I secured a reporter to do a story on SHARE for this fall. What an amazing group--Compassionate Friends for Baby Angel parents is how I describe it. We're walking around the cemetery ending with picnics in Babyland where are our babies are. She offered to do 2 stories--one on the group a couple weeks before the event and one for the actual event.
Speaking of walks, I'm almost done with the Sylvi's Soldiers graphics for the shirt. We're on revison #2 as we speak. Hope to get them out for people to check out this weekend or early next week. I have fashioned them using three leading CDH support and awareness organizations--CHERUBS, Breath of Hope and Parker Reese Foundation. I respect all these organization and belive they are all very reputable. The shirts are turquoise, the official color of CDH awareness as established by Breath of Hope. I like associating CDH awareness with one color and I want only one color for the team's color. I fashioned the back of the shirt after a Parker Reese Foundation shirt I bought. I changed wording. Andy and I did some math on CDH statistics using U.S. birth rates and CDH statistics. We came up with the same numbers as their shirt as we did some rounding so the numbers are the same, wording is different though. PRF--Please comment or FB me if you are upset about this. And, to honor CHERUBS, I put their website on the shirt. All proceeds from the shirt will go to one of these organizations specifically for CDH research. We plan on rotating donations each year to the different CDH organizations. The rest of the shirt is all Sylvia! I think it is a beautiful tribute to her.
Next week is another ultrasound with biophysical profile and weight! We're taking Will too. We continue to hope and pray that all goes well. Will was along when they told us about Sylvia's possible CDH. Ultrasounds have all been good thus far. They said they shouldn't find anything else wrong. So, we think Big Brother has earned the right to check out his baby sibling. We'll probably also take him to the last ultrasound on 2/19. The time is sure nearing. People at work continue to tell me how huge I am--how I look like I'm ready to pop. Sometimes people are so rude. I'd never even think about telling a pregnant woman these things. It's exhausting to be pregnant especially to have two babies within one year of each other. Others just don't get it nor do they know how to show compassion just by keeping their mouths shut sometimes. I rise above their comments though and never show that the comments do bother me sometimes. Sometimes I do say "At least I have a reason to be fat right now." I especially love saying this to fatties that tell ME I'm fat! Hope all is well with all of you!