How to sign the Christmas cards?

This question went through my head a lot this week as I prepared the Christmas cards and letter. If I had all my children here with me, I'd sign all our names. Last year I did a photo card with a photo of Will and a photo of Sylvia's ultrasound. I signed it "Andy, Beth, Will and Baby." I feel like that could have jinxed me. So, this year and probably for all other years, I'll just sign "The Houselog Family." I wrote about each child and a little about the coming baby in the letter. I'd love to write all our names year after year, but after a couple years, I don't know what the receivers of the letter would think. I try so much not to care what others think, but I do still care on some things. Oh, and I took the letter to the copy shop to get copies made and they screwed it up! I already had most of them stuffed so I'm just leaving it. About five words got a letter or two cut off as I had very narrow margins, but they were all on the original copy. Oh well, I'm not going to worry about it, I'm sure people will be able to decipher.
Today I went to Michael's looking for a shadow box for the wreath I had made with Sylvia's funeral flowers. They didn't have what I was looking for. Looks like I'll have to go to a gallery/framing shop. Michael's said they couldn't custom frame it. We have a good framer in town that is reasonable so I'll check her out over some lunch break as it is pretty near work. Anyhow, I found a neat stamp of a happy angel girl. It made me smile. I bought it. I used it to stamp the envelopes for the Christmas cards. I even used turquois ink to represent cdh awareness. No one will probably get that though as I didn't explain it in the letter. Oh well, I think it looks cute.
I was talking to my mom this morning. I thanked her for the Mary's Angel ornaments she has given me over the years. I never realized until this year that they are all sleeping angels or at least they all have their eyes shut. How fitting for us now as I never saw my angel's eyes. Also, I have 13 of them. That is the grandchild number that Sylvia is on my side. Again, how fitting.
I've been feeling hopeful lately. I just got done going through Will's upstairs toys and putting away some toys for the baby and to bring out as the baby gets older. I came across a burp cloth and daydreamed about burping the new baby. I smiled because today I think everything is gonna be okay. Today I feel hope. Today I see my rainbow baby as being the light at the end of this long dark almost tortuous at times tunnel. I also know Sylvia wants us to be happy. This may sound weird, but I think Sylvia and her little sibling's souls are together in some way right now. Now is the time for Sylvia to pal around with her sibling. My time is coming. Andy's time is coming. Will's time is coming. We are ready, but want he/she to stay in there as long as possible to be as safe as possible.
People have been asking how we've been preparing Will. We haven't really done anything yet. I came across two big brother books I had for him with Sylvia, but can't bring myself to read him the stories yet. I think time is a hard concept for a three year old. I think we'll start talking about it in January after our friend's baby comes. That will be a good visual for him. I just wish I could for sure tell him everything will be okay. The fact is that I can't, but I do remain hopeful. Everything just has to be okay this time--it just has to be.