A Little Scared

Yesterday I read of another stillbirth in the obituaries. This is the second in about 3 weeks here. Both were delivered by my doctor. I feel so badly for these parents. I am sooooooooo sorry for their loss and wish they didn't have to go through it. I hope they received The Song of Sylvia packet and I hope it was at least a little helpful/comforting for them. I can't help but think in the back of my head if these are some signs being thrown my way... I really don't think I could take another loss. When I think of losing another child, I can't even breathe. Tears sting my eyes. I look at my beautiful Will as he watches downhill Olympic skiing yelling "Go Hawkeyes!" and think how I so want these special times with other kids too. How I wish I was exempt from another loss of a child, but that protected feeling I had before I lost Sylvia is gone altogether. Losing Will never even crossed my mind when I was pregnant with him. I now know that I have as much of a chance of losing a child as anyone else even though I've already lost one. I wish it wasn't so. I wish that those of us that have lost a child WERE exempt from a pain like that ever again. In my opinion, we should be. We've earned our stripes! This month, I think my doctor has earned his too so he should be exempt of any other complicated deliveries or baby deaths. Please, oh please, God!
**Side note--Thanks for posting especially to the newbies! Also, if you choose anonymous, please remember to sign your name somewhere. Someone left a great comment on the last posting, but I don't know who it was :(