Five Months...

Today Sylvia would have been five months. Thinking back on Will, he was rolling over by now, cooing, smiling and even cut two teeth at five months 1 week. I'm sure his sister would have been right on track with him. How I miss my Sylvia. Today we ventured to Iowa City for a remembrance service in honor off all newborn and pediatric patients who have died recently. It was a lovely ceremony. There were beautiful poems, music, photo and word tributes to the children. Before we left Dubuque, we stopped at Sylvia's grave. I prayed for her to give me strength through this day. When we arrived at the golf club where the service was, I escaped to the bathroom for a couple minutes. I cried a little and prayed, "Lord, give me strength. I don't want to be a wreck today." My prayers were answered and for the most part, I was strong. The ceremony ended with a balloon release. I don't really care what environmentalists say, balloon releases are so symbolic, therapeutic and beautiful, they are worth it for something as meaningful as this. If any of Sylvia's balloons are retrieved, the tags will be sent to Grief Services at the University of Iowa. In a way, I hope they aren't found then I will know they went straight to her in Heaven. Several of our family who live nearby joined us at a park in Coralville after the service. We ate together (of course!) and just enjoyed the company. The kids played. Will released his balloon to his sister. The kids also blew bubbles, which I'm sure also reached Sylvi. Also, Sylvia's tombstone is being finished this week. I actually chose to have a verse of a poem they read today put on Sylvia's stone. (I had it chosen before the service.) Also, the harpists played "Be Thou My Vision" before the service. We used that song at Sylvi's service. I knew Sylvi was there because that song is heard so rarely anymore.... We took some roses from Sylvi's garden. They were the perfect centerpiece for the park gathering. She was with us. She is with us always. For that, I am blessed and grateful.